Sunday, August 29, 2010

How are You?

I hate that question now.
How am I supposed to answer?
Do people actually want to know? How would I even put into words how I feel?
It has been one month today since my mummy died. And to say I miss her is the biggest understatement of the century. Last week with Mick away and kids vommiting, and me returning to work all I could think was to ring my mum. She would have gotten me through, and she would have made me laugh :) Having never suffered a loss like this before (I know, I have been incredibly blessed) I am beginning to realise how brave it is for people to approach me and offer their condolences. Its brave to face someone who is suffering such a raw pain.
I am thankful that I have some brave friends.
I will never forget those who have reached out to me during this time. Cards, letters, facebook messages, texts, phone calls, visits...all wonderful, all precious, all make me feel supported:)
I had some friends visit last week. They just sat, and drank coffee and listened. They were brave.
I have been surprised to see who some of the brave people are. And sadly surprised by some of the people who aren't.
Its so true, you really find out who your friends are during times like this :(

I found myself scrapping some old christmas photos today, and it was hard. Way hard. She loved Christmas. Like seriously. When we were going through her clothes we found like 6 christmas shirts. And big earings...with batteries...yeah, she pretty much went all out ;)
I am dreading christmas this year.
But I know these guys will help make it a little easier. Being together makes things hurt a little less...

Mum loved it when we all got together. Some of our family pics have one or more of us frowning, cause she used to force us to get one every single time we were together...I am beyond glad that she did.

Thanks for stopping by my brave friends :)


AJ said...

Ohhhhh I love you....

I miss mum so much, so much. So, so, so much.

I'm glad we'll be at christmas together.

love you.

My friends have been all typesof awesome. They are just so brave. So brave.

again. love you.

Tanya Tahir said...

Kirsty, I truly believe people get back what they put out into the universe. You are a wonderful person with so many awesome friends and support around you xx

Tam said...

I couldn't agree more with Tanya,
like I keep telling my kids, you put nice things out to people and you hope nice things come back...
You my darling are one of the nicest people I've ever come across here on this big old web!
Thinking of you today and always. xoxox

Kate said...

you mum shines like a star kirst :)
much love and hugs always xo

Leanne said...

xx... One day at a time Kirsty. {{hugs}}

Nicole said...

ahhh yes you do realise who is really a friend when times get tough don't you....

you make me feel sad :'( reading that

any sending you a huge hug and I'm getting back to emailing you, just everytime I sit down I can't get the words out, kwim


Kerryn said...

YOU are the brave one. Sharing your beautiful memories of your beautiful Mum, thankyou.

:) Tiff said...

I really wish I had the gift of putting feelings into words that really say how I feel for you right now. I wont pretend I know how you feel, I haven't lost a parent yet.

But I do believe that you have a wonderful and amazing family. Yours and your siblings.

I wish I could give you a hug in real life. I wish I could sit down for a coffee, or 16 coffees.

I have been thinking of you.

Teresa Dawn said...

I'm sorry about your loss.

A friend of mine lost his dad half a year ago and I wasn't sure if I should talk to him about it again on Father's Day. I opted to do so (because I knew that it was what I would have wanted) and he was glad I did but it's the unsureness of whether I should bring it up or not that almost stopped me, so if people don't say anything, I'm sure it's not that they don't care, they just are scared too.

Sar said...

Big hugs hunny, just so glad that you have an outlet here to talk about whatever you want, whenever you want, we will always read and listen, and send our love through messages here. xoxo

Kylie said...

The love you have for your beautiful Mum shines through when you share your thoughts with us. THANK-U for doing so xx You must also stop & think how brave you are...To share so openly how you feel & how you are getting through this painful time in a true sign of your courage & spirit. I have been a long time follower of yours from SWV & just wanted to let you know you.

Barb said...

Kirsty that photo of your mum is fantastic. She looks like she was so full of life and energy. Keep going, you have lots of people sending you their support and love.

Suey said...

Kirsty! You are blest with the most amazing family. You are seldom out of my thoughts and prayers. Your blog is written so well. Your Mum would be so proud!!(as indeed, I am!!) Love to you and your family

jacqui jones said...

just make sure u have people u can tell the truth too. and even though they have no answers, i always found i felt better after i vented and cried, to those very few people.

its ok to tell people u feel like crap!

Pretty Little Paper Love said...

Kristy I'm so sorry for your loss, on Sept 13th it will be the 5yr anniversary of my dad's passing. he was my best friend in the whole world, much like your relationship with your mum. I can't tell you how many times I picked up the phone to call him for weeks after he died even if it was just to listen to his voice mail message. I know what you are going through and it sucks, but it eventually does get better. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about my dad. Hang in there and even though I don't know you, I'll be thinking about ya!

Hill St Friend said...

Yes, you are a brave, special young lady to be able to talk, you deserve to have thoughtful friends around you.
I miss your Mum so much too. It was a great night with you all,(photo) she loved all of you around her,that made her life complete,being needed and wanted and of course loved.Which she was.
I am only a phone call away,(my Dad always said that) if you would like to talk, anytime,would love to listen xxxx

Karen Shady said...

Big hugs to you sweetheart.... It seems you have a wonderful family, and lots of love and support around you. Take care, thinking of you

Karen xx