Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Its Pouring...

Yeah, you know how 'they' say it never rains, but it pours?
Yeah, feeling like its pouring over this way.
Mick and the kids went home early last week so my sisters and I could have a few extra days to sort through mum's things, and visit her grave before I came home to 'real life'.
I got a phone call on Thursday.
Yeah, another one of THOSE phone calls.
Further reinforces my fear of ever actually answering the phone...
Natalie had been in an accident at school and broken her collar bone.
Poor little chicken.
So my amazing brother Danny and his wonderful wife Adele drove me through the night to get home to my broken baby.
So yeah, I am home. With a broken baby and with a killer cough/cold. I sound as if I am a 75 year old man who has been smoking 2 packs a day since he was 15. So does Sammy. And Mick. Nice.

I am still so deeply sad.
I miss her every moment.
I still cry randomly, especially if someone shows me any kindness. So I have been hibernating. I rang to get another week off work, and apparently have run out of leave. So I am not being paid. Awesome.
I just can't face people yet.

Oh man how I miss her.
I loved spending time with my family. Doing things together. Talking about her, crying, laughing and just remembering.

Heee...we had a Hokey Pokey Baskin and Robbins ice cream in her honour :)

I am struggling through this. I have never been through anything like this before. I really appreciate your beautiful messages of support and condolence on my last post. I cried reading each and every one. You guys are awesome.
***edited*** Because my mum wouldn't want me to put this sort of stuff out there.
Oh man I miss her.
It will get easier I am sure. But right now? Ouch.


Krissy Christie said...

Poor Natalie :( {{hugs}} hope she has a speedy recovery :)

Ive been thinking of you heaps sweetie, sending massive hugs your way

Lotsa love
Krissy xx

Kate said...

No good about natalie and sammy, mick and you being sick kirst. really bad timing :(
nothing anyone says can take away the hurt and sadness you are feeling. you will go through so many emotions probably for many years to come. i know i have with the passing of my dad to cancer. no doubt your mum is with you every step of the way. she seemed like such a sweet lady. i hope your dad is doing ok. been thinking of you guys lots xoxox

Felicity said...

come here.. so I can give you a big (HUG).. I can just feel how tough it would be for you right now.
Poor lil Nat. Hope it heals well, and that she is not in to much pain.
Hang in there, let the tears flow, thats healing :)xx

AJ said...

I miss my mummy :(
Can you come back here? You make everything better.

Lauren said...

Poor Nat! I hope it heals well for her and she doesn't have too much pain.

I have been thinking of you all and how you are getting along. If you ever want to get out of Mundubbera for a day - you know where I am. You don't have to put on a brave face for me. Hugs xxoo

Tanya Tahir said...

Poor little chicken :( I hope she makes a speedy recovery.

Lisa said...

My beautiful Kirsty Louise, I love you guys so much. I am so sorry for the hurt and pain. Not the apology you were after, I know. But I am sorry. Love you lots, I love my cousin xx

Kerryn said...

Oh your poor girl. Hope she recovers well.
Nothing I say can take your pain away right now, but you are in my thoughts all the time and I just hope you can feel all the love coming your way right now.
Take care love.

Anonymous said...

Kirsty. I am so sorry about Nat. You are having what my Mum would call "A rough trot!!" My thoughts are with you always. Lots and lots of love. Suey

Sweet Tea said...

Your poor, sweet, baby.
Good you could get to her pronto... I know you hurt - deeply. I am sorry for your pain. Really sorry.

Anonymous said...

Kirsty, you write with a lot of feel, it is a real gift. I am sure your mum will continue to travel with you always. I know she was a very special person and many people will remember just how great she was. Her family were her life and we all know how unfair it was to lose her so soon. Her love and memories will be with you all as you continue life's journey. Take care. Barb.

sharon said...

life/god has a funny sense of humour sometimes. keep your chin up and keep paddling along, and I am sure with your lovely kids and Mick around you, things will look brighter soon. Just keep on keepin on - what else can you do?! much love! xox

Leanne said...

Oh Honey! I feel for you...x I wish I could give you the words that would take away your pain and fear and confusion....

I hope your little girl recovers quickly. Your right when you say when it rains, it pours.. but the sun always comes out,eventually...x

jacqui jones said...

its ok to hide. i did it for a year. we will be here when your ready to rejoin the world again.

poor nat, she looks so sad.