Its getting scarily close.
My kids are super cute. They get so excited about little holidays like these, and I am trying to be upbeat about it, but I am so deep in my bones sad.
My first Mother's day without a mum.
It hurt to type that.
Its just another one of those 'firsts'. Very un-fun.
Last week was a bit rough. We heard from someone who has behaved pretty badly, and it was kind of like a punch in the guts. You know when someone doesn't own their behavior...its just hurtful and frustrating. Instead of an apology, they try and explain and rationalize their horrid hurtful actions. Not cool.
A friend lost her mum to cancer.
I had never met this lady's mum, but that knocked me so hard that I actually spent a day in bed crying.
I haven't had a day like that for a while.
Thank goodness I have a husband who lets me fall apart occasionally, and then helps to build me back up again.
And my nightmares have started again. Every single one, I am chasing my mum. I am trying to help her, and I just can't reach her. Some nights, I have up to 5 of those.
And then, on top of that...we are staring at Mother's Day.
Some weeks, are just harder than others.
This is a hard week.
She truly was an amazing mum.
The kind of mum that everyone should have and celebrate.
If you are blessed enough to have a mum to spend Mother's Day with this weekend, hug her extra tight for me, and take a moment to just be thankful that she is with you.
Thanks for stopping by...and sorry for the gloomy post.